Ski Gear – from Hell?

Imagine… 10,000 years from now.  Civilization has disappeared.  Climate change eliminate snowfall.  And some visitors come to the planet to find many items humans had used.  Many will make sense, others will only make sense if they see videos/pictures, and yet others will never, ever, make sense to them.

I just used some of those items that may never, ever, make sense.  I went skiing.

Oh, skiing is an awesome thrill:  the challenge, the scenery, the speed, the almost-falls, the feeling of the air in the face, etc.  I LOVE skiing.  But I HATE ski gear.  I don’t hate it when I look at it at a store.  I don’t hate it when I see others wearing it.  I hate it when I have to deal with my own.

Which psycopath determined that one ought to compress one’s calves into a piece of hard plastic (or whatever boots are made of!)?  Or made the boots so incomprehensibly difficult to put on?  Or made those snap locks so painfully hard to snap?  And what tyrant designed the first ski park such that you have to walk carrying a sh–load of gear across steps and areas with lots of people to watch one stumble or struggle?  Who was the brilliant engineer who designed skis to be so long that a small turn of the body as you carry them can destroy a small building or knock out an innocent?

Yes, I love skiing.  I REALLY do.  But I do suffer through dealing with all that gear.  As my friend and skiing guardian angel said, maybe there ought to be the equivalent of a pool-boy/girl or personal butler for skiing, carrying your gear, putting it on for you, and carrying you to the actual lift?  Just a thought…

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